My Birthday Wish List
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:47 am by Laff at the Movies under Entertainment
December 8th is my birthday, so in the least self-serving way I could think of mentioning that, I present My Wish List to the movie industry:
1. Stop remaking classic movies!!! The Day the Earth Stood Still opens December 12th, Friday the 13th opens February 13, 2009, and there’s a long list of recent remakes that were more frustrating than exciting: Poseidon (2006), War of the Worlds (2005), Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), Planet of the Apes (2001), Psycho (1998), Invasion of The Body Snatchers (at least two remakes), but the biggest remake mistake of all time is 1978’s The Wiz – seriously – have you seen it?
Off the top of my head, only 5 remakes turned out as good or better than the original: Charlie and Chocolate Factory (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – 1971), King Kong (2005), Titanic (1997) (there were 4 previous versions), I Am Legend (Omega Man – 1971), and Ocean’s Eleven (2001) (1960’s rat pack made up most of the cast).
2. Stop changing release dates for movies I want to see. After teasing me with their trailers Defiance changed dates several times before moving to a January 2009 wide release and Taken moved from September to January 2009… those are just two examples of movies that changed dates during 2008.
3. Don’t make another Indiana Jones movie!! Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the most disappointing of highly anticipated movies since the Star Wars prequels! In case you didn’t see my review this summer, I’m a huge fan of the franchise (even the TV series), but I was throroughly disappointed!
4. Stop teasing me with more “official” Star Wars chapters like this summer’s animated “Clone Wars” that I thought I “needed to see”. The prequels were mostly a bust, stop torturing this die-hard fan with more disappointing entries – give up on making more batha poodo before I give up my allegiance to the Star Wars Universe!
5. Stop making movies about the War in Iraq while we still have troops in Iraq - nobody wants to see them, take a look at your box office receipts for any of them!!
6. Please make more superhero/comic book movies with casts of QUALITY actors!!! Like Iron Man, The Dark Knight, X-Men, Hancock, and The Incredible Hulk (2008) – unlike the mostly unknown/untalented actors in old movies. One of the best examples of that is 1980’s Flash Gordon. The old superhero movies that were successful used some quality actors: Superman (1978) had Marlon Brando and Gene Hackman, while Batman (1989) had Jack Nicholson and Jack Palance.
7. Please make more Oscar worthy Crime Dramas, exciting Thrillers, and box office friendly Comedies that are original and funny and make me… laugh…. I mean LAFF… at the Movies
Tags: Laff at the Movies, movie, movies, Wish List
Aaron Lafferty covers the film industry. Favorite movies include Star Wars, Indiana Jones, The Matrix, Clear and Present Danger, Tombstone, Rounders, Enemy of the State, Rear W...
May I add another? Stop making movies from old tv shows. Otherwise, we will have “My Mother, The Car” coming out any day now.
I really hate it when they make movies ouy of tv show. please stop!
Hey are you trying to imply that Ben Affleck wasn’t a quality actor in “Daredevil”, what nerve. But seriously, I would add #8 no more odious product placement in movies. Man are they are annoying. As far as #4 as you know from prior comments I am a big critic of the prequels but I must reluctantly admit that the weekly “Clone Wars” cartoons haven’t been too bad even though the last episode with Jar Jar may have been a jump the shark moment for the series. As a Star Wars fan you should check it out sometime.
John & g-ma –
I mostly agree – a majority of the TV shows into movies don’t work out, like “Dukes of Hazzard” and “Beverly Hill Billies”, but there are those that turn out pretty well like “Bewitched” and “Shaft”.
Did you guys know that there’s an “A-Team” remake in the works? uh oh… setting me up for a big disappointment? Why don’t they just do a remake of “McGyver”, “Fall Guy”, or “Riptide” too?
Vin –
I have been watching the Clone Wars weekly cartoons on Cartoon Network, and they are pretty good, but I agree the Jar Jar episode “Bombad Jedi” was pretty weak. The “Clone Wars” movie this year would have been better if broken up as seperate episodes like the TV shows.
As for Ben Affleck – he was okay as “Daredevil”, I was sort of grouping all of the recent superhero movies in the same group vs. the old ones with lesser polished and not as accomplished actors like Dolph Lundgren in the first “Punisher” or Sam J. Jones in “Flash Gordon”, my favorite *bad* superhero movie to mention. Its like the “Plan 9 From Outer Space” of superhero movies – its so bad, its almost good,
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